This Ideal Life
I can’t remember if it was on a movie, or a TV show that I had watched recently, but a character had asked something along the lines of:
If you could have the life that you wanted, what would it be like?
This question has had me thinking. I still have hope that I can get everything that I want out of life. The question, then is, just what do I imagine my perfect life to be like? There are many ways that I could answer this question, and with varying levels of descriptive detail, but I will give you the broad strokes in order to give you the general idea.
I have decided to save the best for last, so I will start with work. To be honest, I could be happy doing many things. I have incredibly varied interests as anyone who knows me can attest. I would be really happy being a teacher again. I would be equally happy being a project manager for a software company. I wouldn’t mind working in astrophysics or graphic design either.
I really enjoyed teaching, and I could see it as something that would bring me a lot of happiness. If I could be a project manager, my dream job would be to work at Microsoft on the Zune or Xbox teams. I don’t think that I would ever get a job in astrophysics, but it is a field that I find to perhaps the most interesting of all. I spend an inordinate amount of free brain cycles thinking about the nature of the universe. I marvel at its complexity, size, and relevance. I don’t understand how anyone can’t be awestruck or intrigued by such a topic. But then again, I can’t understand how anyone can hate math either… The only other topic that comes close to time spent occupying my mind is brain function. That topic fascinates me, both because of its complexity, and my desire to understand the nature of human thought and behavior. I would rather keep these two topics as hobbies rather than careers however.
Eventually, when things would have settled down, I would like to open a graphic design and photography studio of my own. When I had the photography studio, it was an absolutely fantastic time in my life. I could be creative, I was my own boss, and I was successful with it. Adding graphic design to the mix would really amplify my creative side and satisfy my inner geek.
As disparate as all of those are, they do exemplify the type of person that I am. I enjoy many different things, but above all, I love learning. (Said the 10 year college student…lol) I love understanding. I love thinking about complex systems.
All of these paths share a common characteristic: they would allow me to support a family. I want to be able to make enough money so that my wife is free to pursue her interests. I don’t want her to feel like she has to work. If I am able to let her work or be active in her chosen field, or she is able to pursue her interests without worrying about financial matters, then it would make me very happy. I also feel that it would be good for the two of us.
I brought it up, so I might as well talk about it. There isn’t an easy way to say this, so I guess that I will just say it: I can’t have kids. With that said, I still want to start and enjoy a family several years from now. I love kids. Hell, in many ways, I still am a kid. I would like to adopt a child or three with my wife when the time is right. I know that I could be a good father. I also have tremendous faith that my wife and I could provide a stable home where we could raise the kids well, and teach them to be good, caring, respectful people. And we would have the time of our lives doing it.
I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. – Roy Croft
I have saved the best and most important thing for last. The only thing that matters to me…that really matters…is that I have a partner-a teammate-someone who loves me unconditionally and has my back through life’s ups and downs. I must admit that I am a completely different person when I have that. All of my insecurities, all of my worries are of no consequence to me, and in that, I am free to be happy. I am free to be me. The real me. I want to be able to show her…and the world…that side of me.
In this dream life, I see Anna by my side. In all my time, I have never met anyone who makes me feel like she does. I find her to be the most remarkable person that I have ever met. She inspires me. I am constantly taken aback by her compassion for others. She makes me laugh, and I find myself smiling at random times just thinking about her. I love being with her. How could I not want to experience life with her?
I know that she doesn’t feel the same way per se, but this is my fantasy life dammit. And I’ll do what I want. lol
So there you have it. The life I want in a nutshell. Now I need to formulate a plan on achieving it!