Where to begin…

 

I don’t know where to begin.  As I sit here, staring at Live Writer, I have 21 blog posts sitting in my drafts section.  Normally, this would never happen in a million years!  I am very Type A, and that would have driven me insane not too long ago.  What perplexes me, is my lack of dismay at this fact.  Don’t get me wrong, it still bothers me, but my point is that up until very recently, I never would have allowed this to happen.  The question is why?

As I sift through them, I look for similarities amongst them.  I think that I have it figured out.  The posts are almost all about personal matters that I have going on in my life right now.  Typically, I have a very hard time talking about myself, and I am sure that that is part of it.  But I believe the real crux of this conundrum is that they are posts written by me in order to work through some hellacious events.  Think of them as therapy if you will.

Did I ever intend for my blogs to be therapy?  No, I did not.  When I think about it however, I think that there is some of that in there.  I created them in order to express my thoughts and opinions on things that interested and affected me.  I have no problem spouting off on any subject that I find interesting.  I DO have a problem opening up about myself.  In fact, that has become orders of magnitude more difficult just recently. 

I guess that I can be happy that I still do this.  I really enjoyed sharing my thoughts about things.  It simply feels like I need to reevaluate whether or not my heart is still in it.  I feel like I have lots to say about current events, but the personal side just isn’t there anymore.  I am curious as to the implications of this…

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~ by jvaudio on April 5, 2009.

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